Feeding the Trolls

So, starting this year I decided to live life in a more honest fashion. It started with actually admitting, publicly, to being an atheist. And boy, did it go public...after Richard Dawkins retweeted my post about it. For a long time I stayed in the comfort of past pagan beliefs but never with an actual deity involved. That has never been a part of the picture, only a kind of nebulous "connective energy" in the natural world. But the world of science communicators along with Christopher Hitchens - The Four Horsemen - chipped away at that for a while and the cart was finally tipped over by Prof. Lawrence Krauss, as I've talked about in previous posts. My life hasn't been the same since, in a good way. Or at least an interesting way.

I don't do things in half-measures. And I respect those scientists, who are not only on the forefront of research, but those who spend their time communicating science to the public. The ones who are best at it, make you feel like you are a part of the conversation. Prof. Krauss had Mariette DiChristina on his last live ASU Origins broadcast this spring and she summed it up perfectly when she said the secret to communicating science isn't dumbing it down or making it accessible...it's about inviting people in.

This year I am volunteering at The World Science Festival, co-founded by Brian Greene. Prof. Greene is an absolutely fantastic teacher of complex subjects who taught me, via his online classroom on World Science U, all about Special Relativity. It was weird and wonderful and he taught it SO well that I was captivated by it. After that I am going down to Washington DC to party with 30,000 or so of my new closest friends at The Reason Rally then continue the party with the scientists speaking at the event. That is what this year is bringing my way. And maybe, just maybe, next year will bring me to the ASU cruise with Prof. Krauss and Prof. Dawkins as we talk evolution and so much more whilst in the Amazon. 8 days with two people who absolutely changed my life and to whom I am so incredibly grateful that they put themselves out there, challenging those who would try and throttle scientific discovery and those who would undermine education. The abuse that they take from the public astounds me...both that people find it acceptable to malign those who push the science's boundaries and push against ignorance and intolerance. I am also amazed by how they handle the rancor that they get deluged with on the internet.

I dove headfirst into "discussing" matters with science trolls, creationists and IDers this year. Frankly, if I am now a part of this community than I'm in all the way. That people have no problem advertising their ignorance to the wide world of the internet is amazing. More than that though, it has deepened my respect for those who do this every single day. And have been for years, decades even! I honestly don't know how they can deal with the level of stupidity I've seen and not want to shake people. I asked Prof. Krauss about it on Twitter...

First of all, the fact that he puts up with me on Twitter is astonishing. I tend to...get uppity with people on his Twitter feed. It just sort of seems to happen. What can I say? He and Hitch have been a "bad" influence on me, lol. But even more than putting up with me, every so often we have snippets of conversation. And when he's had his live ASU events (which I adore), a lot of the time he uses a question that I tweet in. Last time, the event with Mariette, he actually mentioned me by name. I appreciate the fact that while he started to call me "a frequent twit", he changed it to "tweeter". I mean, both of those could be accurate. :) He's just so wonderful at making these events feel like an actual conversation more than a kind of staged event. I hope he knows just how much some of us appreciate everything that he does and the amount of time he spends doing this at the expense of his actual research.

So, just be warned internet trolls. You mess with "my" scientists - you and I have a problem. And even though I know that it is sometimes a useless argument, I feel it necessary to have the conversation because of others who may stumble across comment threads, and who might believe incorrect information on either a subject or a person. So bring it on.

Science vs God

I finally did something I've wanted to do for *ages* ... I got to see Lawrence Krauss up close and personal at a live event. So, here's my disclaimer: it's entirely possible that I have a teeny tiny nerd-crush on Prof. Krauss. (And anyone who knows me is either laughing or snorting derisively...I know who you are!) Just because he's incredibly brilliant, handsome, charming, witty and I love not only his books but hearing him speak does NOT mean... (/p>

Fine, whatever. At any rate, it was a nice day for hoofing it around Toronto so I walked up for some food at Caplansky's (like I could pass up smoked meat and latke's) and got to the event fairly early. Proceeded to make new friends who were as masochistic as I was for standing outside in the chilly weather to get really good seats. We chatted about Prof. Krauss and his various partners in crime, the upcoming Reason Rally and Non-Conference, cool places to learn about science-y things and eventually went in to get seats. Front row with all my new peeps from the line to make sure the people who live in the real world were well represented. I have to admit that he had made a comment on Twitter that got me thinking a few days before the event, "What if I am alone in a crowd of religious zealots and creationist????" So, thankfully that was not the case!

It would have been much more enjoyable just to hear Prof. Krauss but this was a Science vs God debate so there was also a guy named Stephen Meyer going on about Intelligent Design and a creationist "scientist" named Denis Lamoureux. Same tired old claims from the creationist side and this ridiculous thing about combination locks from the IDer, though I will give Meyer props for struggling through the debate with a migraine. He gets credit for being a trooper but not for anything he actually said. And before he made his argument...Prof. Krauss just dismantled Meyer. It was pretty fantastic to behold. "Stephen will come across as an interested scholar, and I want to disabuse you of that right away." and just took off after that. (I'll put a link to the debate at the end, you should watch it.) I'm not going to go into the meat of the debate as you should see it and judge the arguments for yourself. I will just say that science wiped the floor with the religion based crap the others were spouting.

Unbeknownst to me prior to the even, there was a reception after the debate. I didn't have a lot of time between the end an the last bus out of Toronto but decided that I had to go. It could be ages before he's back in Toronto for an event, especially since it's likely going to be at least a year until his next book comes out. I was in there for a bit, signed up for CFI Canada membership which I've been meaning to do for a while -- goes well with my membership in the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science as well as in The Planetary Society. Then I noticed Prof. Krauss came in and had a small crowd around him.

Granted, I have a little nerd-crush on him...but he was also pretty important in changing my life. I wrote a blog post a while back about how important Richard Dawkins was (along with Christopher Hitchens) in exposing me to this wonderful world of scientific inquiry, skepticism and more reasonable thinking. But I don't think that I actually would have had the courage to actually even admit to *myself* let alone anyone else that I was an atheist without Prof. Krauss. He was this incredibly forthright and passionate communicator of science and critical thinking and unabashedly atheist. I'm not exactly sure what it was that really resonated so much with what he said but there it is. He's taught me so much about physics that I had NO idea about...made me so excited about things like gravitational waves and just gave me the feeling like I could be really honest about who I really was and how I really saw the world. So...when I was standing a few steps away from him and he finished talking to a cute little retiree about how Prof. Dawkins was doing I thought to myself, "I'm going to thank him for everything he's brought into my life...." And as he was going to go and get a drink, he looked at me and said, "Hey, I saw you sitting in the front row! Thanks for coming."

I probably looked like I'd been hit in the back of the head with a board right at that moment. Let's be honest, doesn't matter how embarrassing it is...I had one thought sprint through my mind. "Lawrence Krauss just talked to me." Granted I was sitting right in his line of view and I did have my RDFRS membership pic quite visible (and again, anyone who knows me also knows that I'm never the quietest person in any room. EVER) but I will take what I can get. And although I did not get to have what I'm sure would have been a very witty and erudite conversation between the two of us (hey, one can dream...don't ruin the little picture I have built up in my mind about that), I did get him to sign my book and to listen to him mentioning his current areas of research and talking physics with people. Plus, I did not say anything that I would be mortified about at a later date. Not yet anyway, lol. It was an amazing night and I'll look forward to the next time he comes back to Toronto for an event. I will end, giving the last word to him and not myself...

Messenger of the Universe

So...recently I had VIP tickets to see Neil deGrasse Tyson at the Sony Center in Toronto. And it was awesome.

He gave us a choice of topics for current events and the audience chose gravitational waves. He had this gorgeous video of exactly what happened when the black holes collided. "Those two black holes up there? Represent...two black holes". He went on to go over the mass of them and what happened when they collided, which I blogged about quite a bit in a previous post. But it sounds awesome when it comes in NDT's voice. Then when they showed the collision and the formation of the waves, he shouted, "See that! That's what formed!" as he pointed at them while running with them and off the stage.

He went on to show us a rather life-altering picture of Pluto (that which can never been unseen), and then talked a bit about evolution. Did you know that we are more closely related to mushrooms than either we or they are related to green plants? Yeah, me neither actually. :) And he talked about the importance of science being such a large part of a country's consciousness that it even appears on it's money. We got some props for replacing kids playing hockey with the Canadarm and an astronaut. He says that's Chris Hadfield...because Chris Hadfield told him so.

What is really going to stay with me though, more than anything is the end. I am always struck with "the bug" whenever I hear someone in their field who is wonderful in presenting science to the public in a clear and concise manner while still infecting you with the passion that they feel for it. The closing of the night...the auditorium went incredibly silent and an amazing picture of Saturn filled the screen. He talked about how we truly only discovered the Earth, by leaving it. And as the picture shifted from Saturn to the small speck that it our planet - Neil deGrasse Tyson read a passage from The Book of Carl. As he read the words, in that resonant voice, that seems as big as the universe itself, the picture came closer and closer to earth and showed Earth's moon in comparison before going back out to the original, as he read:

If you look at earth from space, you see a dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It's up to us.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.

-- Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot, 1994

I can never say anything better than that.

The Year That Science Fights Back

In a previous post, I talked about what brought me to this whole business of atheism, science and reason. It's pretty out in the open now via the power of Twitter! Since then, I have also joined the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science which lately merged with the Center For Inquiry so it will be exciting to see what the next year brings! And I think I picked a great year to start off in a more honest and grounded way because thus far, it's shaping up to be a fantastic year. I have dubbed 2016 as the Year That Science Fights Back.

I have to stop here and talk about something that just happened that is incredibly cool. I have to talk about this because Dr. Krauss has spoken (and tweeted) about this so much and he relays information so beautifully that there is no way you can't be excited about it. His enthusiasm is so contagious that when the press conference was going on just a few days ago, I secreted myself away over in my corner, pretending to do work on the computer while in reality, I had my tablet tucked up right by it so that I could watch and listen. Luckily, it was not a busy day as I was not exactly the most productive member of the team, lol. I excuse this by rationalizing how important science is to my job. Ok, yes I am a retail peon...but I'm a retail peon that sells cool technology like home automation, wearable technology and other things that connect to the Global Positioning System and the Internet of Things. Science! (Feel free to yell that like Bill Nye.) BUT ... Einstein plays a key role in this as well. I'm totally now going to roll out some Lawrence Krauss/Brian Greene knowledge. I do this for your own good....and because I absolutely love talking about it and I mostly get blank stares at work.

So Einstein had two theories that I know you've all heard of - Special Relativity and General Relativity. Special Relativity deals mostly with how time isn't really what you think it is. It's got some really cool and totally crazy ideas in it that I'm not going to delve into right now. I might expound upon them in a later blog post but you really should go over to worldscienceu.com and take Brian's class on it - amazing. But I'm digressing a tad. General Relativity (which I'm going to be talking about here mostly) is how gravity affects spacetime as mass warps the space around it. And that if space could warp, it could also ripple when disturbed.

At any rate, this is one of my big takeaways that I use at work ALL the time because it's cool and I want to give more people a little science bit that they can take away and think about. Maybe they might actually think about how something that seems like obscure science actually affects their lives. And because...I'm a huge nerd and I'm going to lay some science on you whether you like it or not anyway. So, what you might not know is that you wouldn't be able to use GPS were it not for Einstein. GPS works by triangulating your position from satellites in orbit around the earth. Due to the speed at which light travels, in order to know where you are they have to be accurate to 20-30 billionths of a second. But part of special relativity is that the faster you go, the more that time slows down and the satellites travel about 8000 miles per hour. But general relativity also plays a role because gravitational fields also affect time. So without taking both of those into consideration, the GPS would be off by 38000 nanoseconds per day. It would basically stop working after 2 minutes and it would be off my 10 kilometers after just one day! How freaking amazing is that?!?!?!

So, unless you've been living under a rock, you will have heard the news that 100 years after Einstein predicted them in general relativity, LIGO, the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory (one in Washington and one in Louisiana), picked up gravitational waves coming from 2 colliding black holes in the area of the Magellanic Cloud. It took the waves about 1.3 billion years to reach us and within minutes they released 3x the mass of our sun (converted into energy...e=mc2, yo) and 50x the power of all the stars in the universe.

I'm going to give you a moment to ponder that. And for you to consider that gravity is considered the weakest force in the universe. I know, right? (I'm not going to advise you to prove it by pushing someone off the roof of a building, lol.) Some of you are going to know where that comes from. Anyway, this holds really cool things for the future. Dr. Krauss was cool enough to answer a question that I sent when he did his Einstein panel in his ASU Origins Project (check it out on YouTube because it was amazing). I wanted to know if the detection of gravitational waves might mean that they could potentially prove the multiverse theory. He mentioned that if they could detect the waves coming from the Big Bang they could test the model of inflation and see if it implies the existence of other universes. So that even if we couldn't directly see them, there would be strong indirect evidence of their existence. So cool. But think about all the other stuff we could find out going forward. There's been talk of gravitational astronomy to see things that using light has never before been able to show us, and possibly finding out about dark matter! And maybe...just maybe...there's that whole thing about extra dimensions that are a part of string theory. And that is just the stuff we know about...who knows the things they will find that no one knew to even ask the question let alone derive the answer for. Which likely leads to more questions.

"I've often said the two greatest states to be in if you're a scientist is either wrong or confused, and I'm often both." ~~ Lawrence Krauss

Going forward this year, I am seeing Neil deGrasse Tyson is speak in Toronto in just over a week, which is spectacular because he very, very rarely comes up here. I splurged and bought VIP tickets to perhaps have the opportunity to meet him and perhaps ask him some things. He is our *personal* astrophysicist after all. :) Then, in March I get to see Lawrence Krauss debate a theologian and a creationist which should be *awesome*. He comes back to Canada fairly frequently but I've never had the opportunity to go and see him speak or debate before. The amount of things that I learn from him I couldn't even begin to discuss. He's so active in the public sphere between Twitter, lectures on YouTube, his books, his scientific publications (which I read all the time even if I don't understand *everything*, especially the math part, lol) and the writing he does for The New Yorker. I will have to try very hard not to giggle with delight when he gets on a roll taking down the pseudoscience and religious nonsense at the Toronto debate. Usually I can't help it but I will try and behave in public. Try.

Then I have The World Science Festival coming up at the beginning of June in New York City where I will also endeavor to take in the American Museum of Natural History and the Hayden Planetarium this time. Then I'm heading down to Washington, DC for that weekend to attend The Reason Rally where Lawrence Krauss, Carolyn Porco and Richard Dawkins will be among the speakers. Yes, totally taking a selfie in front of the White House. I'm pretty stoked as I've never been to DC before and I can't wait to see it! Plus being in a crowd full of like-minded people is going to kind of refreshing for a change.

I'm going to stop there but I do have a diatribe coming up for the next post potentially. Peace, out. ~ L.

An open letter to Richard Dawkins

Professor:

How could I even begin to put into words what a huge part of my life you have been. There are people who enter your life in ways that you don't even realize it until you are confronted with a moment in time. A moment when you have to conceive of them no longer being there. Your recent health scare was one of those moments for me.

I did a blog post a few weeks ago about my rather long road to finally being able to admit...out loud...to being an atheist. While the majority of Canada may be on its way to being more secular, in smaller cities, especially those with an older population, there is definitely still a strong religious presence that is not open to other viewpoints. I've been in the odd verbal scuffle with more than one young earth creationist on my way home on transit about science vs religion. It is not a comfortable place to admit to atheism but with the courage that you and Dr. Krauss have shown over the last few years, I finally decided to start off 2016 on a more positive and honest note. And to "hell" with anyone who doesn't like it. :)

Although we've never met, I feel as though we have. With all the times I've heard you speak and all of the writings of yours that I've read, it seems like there are very few areas of my life where there is not a piece of advice lurking in my mind that you have given to me. You have taught me so much over the years about so many things and touched the core of my life so much that I doubt I would be who I am today, if you had not been a part of my life. And whilst we do not *always* agree, that doesn't matter. There is no one on earth that you can agree with all of the time, that does not lessen the effect they have upon you and should not change the feelings that you have for another. You are still my most valued teacher for whom I have the highest respect. Even on those nights when I have issues falling asleep, I turn out the lights, pull out one of your audio books and listen to your wonderfully calm yet animated voice telling me the best kind of bedtime story - one that's real.

The highlights of my morning, for ages now, has been to read your Twitter feed. There is always some gem of wisdom on evolution, current events, politics with a smattering of physics and genetics in there as well. Plus the occasional argument with someone who has made an ignorant comment is quite a fun sort of entertainment from time to time. You are the one that opened up this huge world of science to me. You made evolution and biology make sense through your writing. I had never had any interest in science when I was in school but if I had at any point had a teacher as passionate, concise and interesting as you I think I would have been interested in it much earlier in my life. Looking back, if there had been someone who had influenced that side of my education, I think I might have gone into geology or botany of some kind. I've always had a strange affinity for rocks ever since I was little. I used to think, if that rock could speak to you, what marvelous stories it could tell you about the world. After all, it might have been deposited in this spot from thousands of kilometers away by a glacier way back in the past! But my geology currently stops at collecting interesting rocks and my botany, at my gardening.

But I digress. Nothing unusual for me. You are not just the one that taught me about evolution in way that made it interesting and accessible. You introduced me to how enjoyable it could be to learn about something new. And every time I read your words, or hear you speak I always learn something new. Plus you introduced me to this whole wonderful world of scientific knowledge. I found Neil deGrasse Tyson through you who opened up the universe to me. I also found Lawrence Krauss through you who has become another of my favourite authors and speakers. His passion and breadth of knowledge in his field has actually made *physics* exciting to me! Never in my life did I think someone would get me to a stage in my life where I'd be excited that a group of physicists were holding a press conference to confirm detecting something that's been worked on for the last 100 years. But there I was, tucked into a corner at work with my tablet, listening to the scientists at LIGO talking about gravitational waves. And the fact that the two of you are friends and made that delightful movie together makes me incredibly happy. But I doubt any of that would have resonated with me the way that it did, without you.

Something I regret, is to never having written a letter like this to Christopher Hitchens. It just never seemed possible that we would lose his voice so soon and it's easy to live in that state of denial (religious people do it all the time after all). And frankly, it doesn't seem like he could possibly be gone, after all this time. When you vanished from Twitter a few days back, I had a bad feeling. As the silent days grew longer I knew that something was wrong. There were a couple of infrequent posts so I knew that the worst had not happened...but I still knew something was wrong. Then I woke up at 3am the other morning, checked online and heard the news. I was not at all prepared to be confronted with a moment like this and lay awake most of the remainder of the morning. It was so reassuring to hear your voice today, to know that you are reasonably well under the circumstances and on the mend. Though I don't imagine it is an easy one by the sounds of it. Once again your words touch me right to the core as you can make me laugh and cry all in a matter of moments. From talking about the evolution that led to the creation of the human hand, to your current struggles and then hearing your doctor tell YOU to stay away from controversy. To say that I was moved by your words is an understatement.

In the end, I suppose what I want to say is...thank you. Thank you for being a voice of reason and of wisdom in a slightly irrational world. Thank you for being a pillar of light, strength and inspiration in an occasionally bleak and oppressive world. Thank you for being a passionate advocate for science literacy...thank you for everything that you have taught me throughout my life.

Please, be well Professor Dawkins. No matter what people say, you have an impact - a positive one. Never forget that you have changed lives and we need you around as long as we possibly can.

All of my love,

Leanne in Ontario, Canada

Coming out of the closet...

So, I am making plans this year to attend not only The World Science Festival in NYC, but going down to Washington for the Reason Rally - the largest gathering of atheists, humanists, freethinkers and secularists in North America. They had the last one in 2012....and this time, I'm in. Such a strange thing for me to be contemplating a part in. Why on earth am I going to a *science festival* of all things...and The Reason Rally?? How the hell did I end up here?

Until recently, if you asked me about my faith I likely would have told you that I identified as pagan. To some extent I still do, in the way that I view the natural world as sacred and the closest that I ever feel to something you could call deity is when I'm out in my garden with my hands in the soil. After all, pagan merely means "of the country". However, if you ask me if I really believe in a personal deity, something in a physical form who watches over my well-being...the answer to that would have to be no. Do I still feel that sense of "oneness" (for lack of a better term) with the world? Of course, since everything comes from the same place and our DNA links us to everything that lives. Not to mention that when you look out into the vastness of space and think about how much bigger it than you can see, puts our little blue ball into perspective. Do I still honour things like Imbolc (Brighid's day)? Sure, there is nothing wrong with ritual and what's not to like about a night that involves reading poetry by candlelight and having a moment of reflection? I can still relate to the image of the Celtic goddess of fire, poetry and inspiration as just that. Inspiration, culture, heritage. It doesn't need to have any basis in religion to be a really nice experience each year in the winter. Keeping a little piece of some of those ancient rites makes you think about the long line of occurrences that led to you even existing in the first place, wondering about those distant unnamed ancestors that prayed to Gods whose names may even have been forgotten in the annals of time. I can sense the wonder and beauty of the world, nature, and the universe which in the past that I have viewed as deity just as I have before. But gradually, over the years I have come to realize the beauty and majesty of the world stands quite nicely...all on its own.

When exactly did this happen? I'm not exactly sure when I was young if I had ever heard of anything outside of traditional religion. But, truth be told, I've been on this path my entire life. I just didn't realize it and, until recently, I never felt comfortable admitting it I suppose. Calling it other things was easier and involved less explanation. I gave church a try. Several actually, for years. I grew up Baptist in a really Conservative area. This is a Tory town with a heavy Presbyterian bent to it. I've got mostly Anglicans and Church of England fore bearers as far as the eye can see. I read the Bible, went to teen Bible classes for a little bit, helped out in the Sunday school, but I never felt that "connection" that all the religious people talk about. I always felt there was something wrong with me that church did nothing for me. Everyone tells you that it's supposed to after all, but the only thing I got out of it was the thought that the music was nice. Eventually I faded away from churchgoing and more involved with other things. But everyone tells you that there's this missing part of your life that religion is supposed to fill. I read a lot, I listened to what the Jehovah's Witnesses had to say (crackpots), listened to what the Mormons had to say - even went to a Fireside once (also crackpots). (Side note: You know what I'm most surprised about the Mormons though? With all those Osmonds...I really expected the hymns to be better. They have an odd chord structure that I found a little hard to follow.) But nothing ever made an impact on me, although I never would have admitted that to anyone but my closest of friends. I also would never have put a name to it, much easier to avoid the topic and think or talk about something else. Anything else.

Thinking back, I think I can trace the moment I started thinking about this religion (or lack thereof) to hearing XTC's song "Dear God" for the first time. My jaw almost hit the ground the first time I heard it and I jabbed my headphones on and looked around to make sure I hadn't been caught...like some teenage boy with his first Playboy. I had no idea that such things existed like that or that people not only talked about it...but wrote songs about it. I'd heard lots of music about anti-war and anti-poverty folk music, lots of rock music with people angry about politics, cops, society...but I'd never heard anything anti-religion until that moment. It was the 80s and it changed the way I heard and viewed music going forward in my life, but before I could think too much about that anti-religion message, something happened that shook my foundations and lasted for quite some time.

The summer that I was 19, a friend and I went boating on the Green River. It's not an overly deep river and around their house, the water was always calm. We'd swum across it all the time and gone canoeing, every summer since we were 16. But this was the first time we took out the small motorboat. It was also the first time I had been with her that we went down the other branch of the river instead of out to the lake. Naturally, we had lifejackets in the boat but not on. I mean, we'd never needed them before so why start now? Turns out there's something about that I didn't know about that part of the river. There's a dam. Not a big one and it's generally only a small current. Except there'd been a lot of rain lately, and as we rounded the bend I noticed the current picking up a little bit, looked up and saw a small sign nailed to a tree.

"DAM OPEN"

Now, I don't know if you've ever been in a 1HP boat trapped in the current of an open dam. I'm not all that sure that I would recommend it. For the record, it doesn't do you one damned bit of good. Once the current has the boat, it's game over. I remember her, in the back of the boat, grabbing onto the bridge as the boat swung her around close to it and her getting pulled out of the boat. And then I remember having to make a fast decision. Now, I've taken sailing lessons before this and the talks about what can happen when the boat is in trouble came back to me. I could ride it out in the boat, going through the dam and risk getting either trapped under the boat or the boat flipping and knocking me unconscious - or jumping for it and taking my chances as far away from the boat as I can. Taking stock of how fast the current was moving and weighting the best of poor options, I jumped out from the stern to let the current carry the boat away from me. I can remember the current pulling me under, and having a moment like you hear about in an avalanche when you can't quite recall what way is "up". Keeping that in mind I stopped fighting the current, hoping that being still, I could rise to the surface and save my strength to then fight my way to shore. IF my breath held out that long.

Coming right to the edge of drowning is an odd experience. I kept waiting for that moment they talk about when your life is supposed to flash before your eyes. Nada. I was kind of disappointed about that. But what I did feel was a sort of detached calm, when there is nothing that you can do about the situation at hand except to ride it out. Whatever happens, happens. I knew there was a very good chance that this was when I could die. I had always thought that when I was confronted with that, I be terrified but strangely I wasn't. I had this odd feeling like I wasn't alone and everything was very peaceful almost. And I remember it being extremely quiet there under the water, more quiet that I think I've ever experienced. That's the only way I can describe it. Now look...I know that there was nothing to it except a frightening and traumatic moment. But there are instances in your life where you can really convince yourself of just about anything. I plead the fact that I was 19 and teenagers are stupid and don't know it yet. Plus we think the world pretty much revolves around us anyway, as we haven't really experienced the world outside of high school yet. So, when I tell you that the moment that I broke the surface of the water, emotionally and physically exhausted and used whatever energy I had left to swim to shore...and when I got there shaking and probably in mild shock, what I felt was another thing that you hear about from fluffy, new-agey religious types. That I had been spared by *something* and for a reason. Having been taught from an early age, the usual "we are all here for a purpose/we're all special to the creator" arrogance in years of church-going indoctrination when I was a child, I thought that I had better find that "missing" religious piece in my life that everyone tells you that you are supposed to have.

A few days after my boating incident, I was in a bookstore on the main street. Naturally I went by the "Religion and Spirituality" section, one that I had likely never even looked at before. Aside from the usual books from Christian crackpots and psychic nonsense, I found a small book of the type I'd never paid attention to before. It was called "Paganism: A Beginners Guide" by Teresa Moorey. It was a small and concise book and I have to say, it tapped into everything that I had been feeling for a while. It talked about the earth-centered faiths, describing everything from witchcraft to druidism to Celtic paganism. Having just recently started tracing my genealogy it also hit me a little bit culturally. Granted, I've never traced my family tree far enough back to find some renegade pagan worshiping the ancient Celtic gods under a full moon but I always rather held to a hope that I would find those recorded links that traced back to my various Clans in the Isles. I immersed myself for a while in comfortable mythology, read tarot and allowed myself to believe in those times when the universe would "speak" to me.

And then one day...Richard Dawkins entered my life and proceeded to turn my life and world viewpoint all topsy-turvy. I must admit to a little trepidation when I first bought "The God Delusion". That was the book that made my jaw hit the floor. So beautiful and powerfully written prose that really made me really re-examine everything that I thought. It's been a gradual process since I first read that book. Professor Dawkins started this whole chain reaction for me. He led me to read "God Is Not Great" by Christopher Hitchens, and then later to discover Neil deGrasse Tyson whose revamp of "Cosmos" blew me away. With NDT now in my life, I was led down the rabbit hole of physics and astrophysics and realized just how interesting science could be. I'm not that sure that when I was in high school I actually knew that physicists were a thing. Physics was that thing that nerds took with all the Greek letters in equations .... like they actually meant something. Guys with taped glasses and pocket protectors (hey, it was the 80s and we all though math geeks looked like "Revenge of the Nerds"). I can honestly say that I had NEVER seen, or thought there could be, a scientist that looked like Dr. Tyson. Got to say, he's a great spokesperson if you want to get women to pay attention to science.

I'm on YouTube one day, watching NDT lectures when this panel discussion comes up in a search from some place called ASU. Turns out to be Arizona State University from something called The Origins Project. It's titled "The Storytelling of Science" and it was the greatest thing that I think I have ever seen. It had all of these people that I had heard names mentioned but had never really paid attention to, until that moment. I was *hooked*. The panel consisted of Tracy Day, Brian Greene, Ira Flatow, Lawrence Krauss, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Bill Nye, Richard Dawkins and Neil Stephenson. They each told science stories and had a Q&A that has to be seen to be believed. It was fascinating and fun...and left me wanting more! Who were these people?? Of course, I knew of NDT and Bill Nye (even though I was too old for his children's show when it was on the air, I could still sing that theme song.) YouTube became my best friend as I scoured it, watching NOVA specials with Brian Greene, listening to his crazy string theory talk. And then on to lectures by Lawrence Krauss, who I discovered was the director of the Origins Project at ASU. Both of them blew my mind in totally different ways. I have to talk about that just a little because this ASU panel was led me down the garden path to where I am right now. Completely obsessed with science like I have never been in my life. And on the cusp of making an admission that I never thought I would.

Brian Greene is the only person I have ever encountered that makes me want to be better at math. He talks about math in a way that I have never, ever heard. Math is usually something that makes people's eyes glaze over and roll towards the ceiling. Or makes them shudder in horror. If I had ever had a teacher in my life that had even a tiny bit of the passion and enthusiasm for the subject that Brian does, someone who explained all of these weird and complex things in math and science the way that he does - I might have actually paid attention in math class and applied myself to it instead of plotting ways to ditch class as much as possible. He is also simultaneously the only person that can make me wish I had taken physics in high school while at the same time making me realize WHY I didn't take physics in high school! He's brilliant (and totally adorable)...and he makes me want to know about things that I didn't even realize existed! He could very easily be a cult leader. He just turn on that charm and does that boyish smile thing while he's teaching about some weird fact in special relativity and the next thing you know, here I am, mote than 25 years out of high school and going back to relearn the math skill I brushed off back then. Why? Because Brian Greene is encouraging people taking his online class on Einstein to try the math portion. And I am apparently easily lead to the "dark side". Seeing Brian in this amazing panel discussion led me to a conversation that he'd had as part of the Origins Project with a person that was about t, not only lead me further down that garden path of science (specifically finding physics interesting, of all things) but also a more unexpected path. The road less traveled, shall we say.

Having spoken of the dark side, what can I say about Lawrence Krauss? Fitting that he and Richard Dawkins are friends as Professor Dawkins started this whole thing in the first place. But where he started this, Professor Krauss really drove the nail in the coffin. Full disclosure - there's a slight possibility that I have a little crush on the good professor. He's handsome, brilliant and incredibly funny (and really, that's all it takes for me. Just so you know.) I love his books and his lectures but the first time I saw him debate a religious nutcase, that did it. I've heard the phrase "delightful curmudgeon" used and upon occasion, it does apply to him. How someone can walk the line between being funny, charming and insulting all at the same time is remarkable. Actually, Christopher Hitchens had that quality as well (someone else that Dr. Krauss was friends with, he keeps excellent company). And LK is nothing if not prolific on the internet with his apparent quest to annihilate religious dogma in favour of a rational scientific view, and he does it extremely well. He and RD both coming from different areas of science, teaming up to bring this wonderful knowledge and worldview to the public - resulting in a brilliant movie called "The Unbelievers". Well, there was really no point in denying the obvious anymore. Though self-denial and actual vocal admittance are two very separate things.

But now this little secret that I had kept for a very long time was being made just that much easier to come out and admit. What a little song first sparked interest in and Richard Dawkins first fueled....Lawrence Krauss finally ignited seriously for me. And Richard's Foundation for Reason and Science made it clear just how many people have given up on the long-held religious traditions and dogma. It seems apropos that the 2nd Reason Rally is happening this year as I "come out of the closet" and put into words that it still feels a little odd to put down as truth. But they are truth. So I rise to the challenge put forth by the RDRFS to "Tell Your Story. Speak Your Truth." and admit that I am indeed...

An Atheist. (Such an odd thing to see typed out in my blog but there it is. And I can firmly put the fault onto Richard Dawkins and Lawrence Krauss, of which I'm sure they are both quite happy to take responsibility for.)

There you have it. It's never too late in life to learn new things about yourself and the world around you, never too late in life to discover new passions and to put them out there for the world (or whoever the hell reads this, if anyone). If you actually managed to read the entire thing....feel free to go about your life now. Show's over. :-)

Innerspace....

As I often "joke" among friends, Orillia isn't the sticks but you can see them from here. Standard conversation around here goes something like this. "You going to the bar tonight?" "Naw man, going to the liquor store and getting drunk at home. You?" "I'm gonna predrink a little at home and then go out and get hammered at the bar later."

So, having a conversation about...almost anything...generally only gets me blank stares. From cool indie music to books to science stuff, I have pretty much absolutely nothing in common with just about anyone in the entire city. We're talking about a place where music consists pretty much of Nickelback and Gordon Lightfoot (and that's only because Gord's from here). And talking science? Yeah, not so much. This is a town of retirees and fairly Presbyterian with more than it's share of young earthers. In fact, inspired by Lawrence Krauss, I have taken to wearing my tshirt with the Neil deGrasse Tyson quote on the bus to see if I can start arguments.

"The best thing about science is that it's true, whether or not you believe in it"

But after having taken a rather long Twitter hiatus, I came back and discovered this massive community of not only scientists...but fellow science nerds! And The Young Turks! The TYT Army! Not to mention MOOCs from organizations like Coursera and EdX...and science courses on World Science U. Suddenly I could indulge all my passions online with other people who agreed with me (and have hour long arguments with those who don't) and take classes with really smart people on topics that really interest me (even a few that I only grasped part of, lol) with professors from universities all over the world!! I also found that really handsome scientists would occasionally read my tweets and respond ... what can I say, once a groupie, always a groupie. ;-) Plus, occasionally, one of my Twitter fights ends up on YouTube being mentioned by a comic with his own rather well followed show. "Oh look, new clip! Aaaaannnd, why is my twitter feed on the screen behind him right now?"

Basically, this is just a little random bit tonight about how awesome the internet is. And how stoked I was tonight being called out both with a comment on The Young Turks AND having Lawrence Krauss use my question in the Q&A of his Einstein Origins panel. Now I'm going to read some Hitchens. There's another post coming up this weekend about super exciting plans!! Too tired to write it tonight though. Stay tuned!!

Getting To Know You...

I am hoping that now that I've done a refresh on this blog, I will now keep it going better than it has in the past. Perhaps with the new year past on Samhain I'll endeavor to do better! Readership from the past, small as it was has likely moved on from the days when I relocated here from LiveJournal. Ah, the 90's. ;-) So, in the interest of potential new readership I will introduce myself.

Hello new reader...I'm Leanne. Please to meet you. As you can see from my profile I'm a left-wing Canadian socialist-type from Ontario, Canada. As the saying goes, I don't live in the sticks but you can see them from here, lol. I'm also a Pagan-Atheist - meaning that I hold the natural world as sacred and spiritual but not any sort of personal deity. I do find beauty in the literature of mythology but that's about as far as that goes. I have an interest in various aspects of politics varying from food security and preservation of local/native food sources, the advocacy of science literacy and the promotion of the local arts and culture scene. Nearly everyone that I am friends with is a musician of sorts. Explains why I'm still single...

What else? Graduated high school (by some sort of fluke as I rarely actually attended) in 1989. The 80s were fairly awesome, between the summer I followed Glass Tiger around Ontario to seeing David Bowie in concert at the old CNE bandstand, there was a hell of a lot of music happening. Truth be told, I was a bit of a flake in high school/college. But then, so were the majority of people I went to school with. It was the 80s....we were pretty self-involved. The whole decade was pretty much all about music, weird clothes and The Brat Pack.

I'm also a massive bookworm and I always have been. I think that people who don't love to read are mentally unbalanced. Last year I had to do a book purge as I likely had enough books to start my own library. I took six plastic containers to the used bookstore with everything from a bunch of sci-fi/fantasy that I used to read in high school (like pretty much all of David Eddings books and the entire Dragons of Pern series) to books based on TV shows like Buffy and Queer Eye For the Straight Guy. Now I am building up my book collection again with things that are my new interests and my bookcase is once again bulging at the seams. Good thing I have another one to put together once I finish redoing the basement because I am shortly going to need the space. There is nothing that makes my day more complete than settling down before bed with a good book, a cup of tea and some nice classical music. Yes, I'm old. Be quiet. :)

Orillia has, well, a shallow gene pool. I've got a portion of my ancestry that has been here pretty much since there has been a city. Stimulating conversation is not something that happens frequently. So as a result, I don't tend to date much. Or at all really. The only hobby most people have here is getting drunk. And that is basically all they talk about - getting drunk, having been drunk and plans to get drunk in the future. And since I drink very, very infrequently it does not hold much appeal. Plus, most people here have really lousy taste in music and are not the most literate people I have every had the occasion to have a words with. It's a fairly Presbyterian place with more than our share of young-earthers which makes me borderline *insane*. I enjoy men who are passionate about something and that I can actually carry on an intelligent conversation about something of interest. And no, sports does NOT count.

I have recently become increasingly enamoured of various science topics and the rather dashing and charming men who are out there crusading for science literacy. Yes, nerd-crushes. Why the hell not? Smart, handsome, passionate and excessively well-spoken scientists. Hell yeah....sign me up!

First - The man whom I hold responsible almost entirely for my current fascination for all things science. Granted, I remember Carl Sagan a bit but I was only like 9 or 10 when the originally Cosmos aired and I did not have control over the remote control back then. But when Neil deGrasse Tyson entered the scene, that got my attention. Are you kidding, how could he not??? Look at him! You should not be allowed to look like that, be built like a football player *and* be that smart and articulate. He is the director of the Hayden Planetarium in NYC and hosts the show StarTalk on both radio and TV. Not to mention the reboot he did of the original Cosmos. And he's friends with Bill Nye The Science Guy. Enough said.

Next we have Brian Greene

He's a professor of physics and mathematics at Columbia University and has just started a learning platform called World Science U that I mentioned in a previous post. The only man who could actually make me want to learn math. In my entire life, there is no one who could EVER make me willingly want to learn math. But then along comes Mr. Boyishly Handsome and suddenly...there's me with a pen, paper and a calculator. Dammit. He also co-founded The World Science Festival that I'm attending in June when I go to NYC. He is also co-director of the Columbia's Institute for Strings, Cosmology, and Astroparticle Physics where he specializes in superstring theory.

Next could conceivably be one of my favourite people on the planet. Sexy, smart, hilariously funny, charming in his own unique way and to call him passionate about science would likely be an understatement. Lawrence M. Krauss was born in NYC but grew up in Canada before moving back to the States where he is currently at Arizona State University as Foundation Professor in the School of Earth and Space Exploration and Physics Department as well as the director of the Origins Project. He's got more awards, recognitions, published works and books than I could even begin to put in a blog post (don't be lazy, go look them up...he's *everywhere*). I have enjoyed his rather rambunctious friendship with Richard Dawkins that has even been documented in a movie called "The Unbelievers" where they are attempting to promote science literacy and demonstrate that organized religion is ridiculous in the process. Sometimes by being funny and charming, occasionally by telling people what they believe is idiocy and once in a while, by being a delightfully and moderately cranky curmudgeon (usually that is saved for a particular religious moron that will not be named here).

Lastly, I have to give a shout out to his partner-in-crime Richard Dawkins. Brilliant British ethologist and evolutionary biologist, an emeritus fellow of New College, Oxford and was the University of Oxford's Professor for Public Understanding of Science from 1995 until 2008. He has written acres of books although his best known are probably "The God Delusion" and "The Selfish Gene". Likely, one of the best known atheists around (aside from the late Christopher Hitchens), he has founded the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science. And he's awesome. :)

And on that note, I will wrap this up for now. Lots more to come as I strive to be a better blogger as we rapidly approach 2016 and the new adventures, and the regular everyday life, that awaits. And I leave you with a bit of my photography, both taken at Couchiching Beach Park at sunset a while back.

Later taters,

~~ L.

Renew and Reset

If it should come to pass that anyone is actually still reading my blog after all the years I've been on Blogger....you will notice that the archive has been removed. In place of setting up a whole new blog, I've decided to clear it out. Over the last few years my view on the world has gradually been altering, though I have not really expressed it much on here. Here. it's been mostly just the same sort of thing that I used to post about back in the LiveJournal days. Fine for what it was, some of the stuff about the trips was fun but it's time to start anew.

I've left up the last couple of entries from this year, starting with losing one of our Toronto crew and her memorial. But going forward now, I'll be posting about the new things that have entered my life - new music, sexy and brilliant scientists, new friends and new adventures. We'll talk crazy politics, new organizations that I've gotten involved in and the general nuttiness that is life.

Much more to come...stay tuned.

“There is something pagan in me that I cannot shake off. In short, I deny nothing, but doubt everything.” -- Lord Byron

A word from the geekdom

Seriously, how the hell does Brian Greene make MATH look like fun??? All he has to do is look into that camera, put on that smile and suddenly...here I am with a pencil in hand doing equations again. We'll see what kind of a grasp I have on this business as we go along in finishing the Special Relativity course on World Science U. I also need to squeeze in some time for Climate Change and Public Health on the Coursera platform. Plus, I just picked up the new book by Bill Nye and an older one of Lawrence Krauss' called "Fear of Physics: A Guide for the Perplexed" which I cannot wait to dive into.

The book list on the blog has been completely updated and revamped in its current home as a Google doc as it looks like the old pitas.com site is never going to come back online. So, no more playing with the html over there. :( I have to tackle the full updates on the music and movie pages yet but they are a way bigger task (especially since the vinyl has been growing). I'll have to work away on that after the holiday rush is over.

Oh!! I've decided that I am FINALLY going back to NYC on vaca next year because....I want to go the World Science Festival!! This time for *sure* I am hitting the American Museum of Natural History and the Hayden Planetarium. I really, really want to see the Dark Universe show there. It's gonna be a nerd-fest and I can't wait!!

Enough math for one night...time for a hot bath and to crack open a brand new book!

Picking up the threads

So, I've been neglecting the blog as of late and it occurs to me that I have not been using it to discuss all of my interests. I will endeavor to correct that with upcoming posts. I have also been lax about titling the posts which is silly as I never had that issue when I had the Queen's Musick blog (sad that it has vanished). And how is it that my other blogger account is gone when my LiveJournal account is still active?!?!

But, as usual, I digress. :)

Those who know me know that I have a long-standing science crush on Neil deGrasse Tyson. Who doesn't?? However...Dr. Tyson has recently been getting some competition in that area. I've known about Brian Greene for a while now from various panel discussions I've seen with Lawrence M. Krauss and the Origins Initiative. But I never had a true appreciation for him and not only his wonderful teaching method but his unexpected sense of humour until lately. It's been creeping up on me since the "Storytelling of Science" panel and later when I saw the clip of StarTalk live with Neil and Brian reenacting a scene from "Gravity" to explain a rather large mistake in the ending. Then, a couple of months ago, I signed up with his site World Science U for his course on Special Relativity. I did the conceptual part, got the certificate and potentially wrapped my brain around the whole weird idea that comes with it. And now? I'm doing the math portion.

I do not do complex math for just anyone. But there's Brian with his whole, "I hope you will at least try the math version of the course" business. Have I mentioned that he's handsome and has a really nice smile? Yeah, fine. So here I am doing equations. Well, he's doing equations and I am attempting to wrap my brain around math that's more difficult to understand than the special relativity is. I am struck with both the wish that I had taken physics in high school and remembering WHY I did not take physics in high school.

But, I persevere and will eventually come to understand this whole thing...at least a little bit.

Saying Goodbye

So, this week we gathered to say final goodbyes and to celebrate the life of my friend Saburah. She was the strongest person I've ever known and if you have ever met her, you know this to be true. She was fun and crazy...man, we've had some fun. She never talked about her health and I never asked. She was just Saburah, who was always on the go and never let anything get in her way. I met her first online, part of the Moxy Fruvous (Fruhead) community. In person for the first time in Toronto when Dave Matheson from the band was playing a solo gig for his album back in 2001. We loved the same music and later on, would get together for good food at various Winter/Summerlicious events. (I always know the places to eat, lol). Even when we didn't make plans to get together, somehow I would always run into her on the street. I'd be coming or going from the hostel on Church Street....and there's Saburah. Everytime we'd manage to get together for coffee or something while I was in the city, even if it was just before the bus left.

I remember so many things. All the time we bugged Dave (he loved it, don't kid yourself), all The Supers shows we went to, being part of Swinghammer's Bitches (we really should have made tshirts), the emotional night we had when they closed down Nia...but most of all, I remember that GBS show not that long ago. We planned it for *weeks*. Saburah knew we would all get up front due to her mobility scooter so we plotted what we could do to hassle Murray who had just started playing bass in the band. Rumour had it of some good-natured hassling by the band so we thought we would contribute. She had thought of making tshirts and we talked about it and came up with going to the running Murray joke of "Way to go Murray!" shirts. I had mentioned something for the back and together we went with "Bass and Whistle Tour '97". Reactions on stage were priceless with me, Sab and Drea all decked out. (Afterwards, Drea and I got a little more use out of them by going to see Tory Cassis at the Reservoir Lounge. He's a good friend of Murray's and was grinning when he walked over. We told him about the show and got a "you went wearing those?!?" reaction. We told him Saburah had them made and he was less than surprised, lol.)

It was a beautiful service at the Spiral Garden, a place she had a significant attachment to. I caught up with a friend that I haven't seen in years and it sucks that it sometimes takes an event like this to bring you back in touch with people. So many lovely and emotional words were spoken by her family and those who knew her, especially when she was younger. I was so incredibly touched that Murray and Mike from the band came to the service. If it were not for them, she would never have been part of my life. Post-Fruvous their projects were a lot of the events that she and I would go to and talk about. She adored both of them so much and the fact that they cared enough to come and say goodbye to her, says everything about the person she was and the type of men that they are. So worthy of their dedicated (and possibly slightly crazy) followings. There was a lot of music at the service which was fitting and the guys sang a tune which she would have loved. She touched so many people in her short time with us.

After the service, I talked to Murray and Mike. Mur was his usual steadfast self but I could tell that Mike was a little teary. So was I. I mentioned that this would have been a moment where Saburah and I would have gone for coffee. Not sure how to deal with my now loose ends in Toronto. Just seemed....sort of empty knowing there are no more coffee dates and no more Winterlicious lunches with my friend.

I headed out to get back around the bus depot area and to do some contemplating. I swung by where Nia used to be and thought about all the fun we had there. Went by some of our usual Queen Street spots just feeling a little down and finally decided to get some dinner before I had to get on the bus. So I headed down to Yonge and Dundas. I had totally forgotten it was Buskerfest. I was struck by how appropriate it was since it was a band of buskers that brought Sab into my life in the first place. This could not possibly have been more apropos. I can across this awesome group called The Love Orchestra and their "vehicle", The Zeus Mobile. They were crazy and awesome with a kind of junkmobile meets middle eastern music meets hippy theatre...and Saburah would have thought they were cool I think. It was the most wonderful and mood-changing experience (I could have spent the entire day right there in that spot). They turned my entire day around and I of course put a bill in the tip tin. The wacky singer bowed and thanked me. I thanked her in return. She has no idea what a blessing their music was for me tonight.

I am so blessed with amazing friendships in my life. And I, like most, do not tell them often enough how much their friendship and the goofy things that we have done, have meant to me. Everyone of them has a special moment in my heart.

Blessed Be.